Unsympathetic

On occasion, paramedics and EMTs can be slightly unsympathetic to a patient’s plight. I can think of two prime examples, off the top of my head. Each occurs when someone contacts you for a complaint that you happen to be experiencing at the time, as well.

Eons ago, I came up with a phenomenally stupid idea to increase my stability in the back of an ambulance. (For background, a person is most stable when the person has at least a three-point base. This is true for rock climbers, as well as medics working in moving vehicles.) While working in a moving vehicle one day, I felt as though I could more easily nasally intubate an elderly CHF patient if I could use both hands. If both hands were working to secure the tube, however, one of them could not be my third point of stability. I decided to use my head as a third point of stability, by pressing it into the ceiling of the ambulance. Stupid, I know. Hindsight. I pressed my head against the roof and planted both feet. Three gobsmackingly stupid points of contact...

The system worked extremely well. I was stable as a statue until the speed bump.

After the speed bump, my neck hurt and I couldn’t feel my hands or arms. As a matter of fact, I couldn’t feel my arms for three or four days. I was so embarrassed I didn’t claim a work-comp injury. Hell, I was so ashamed I didn’t even tell my wife. I just kept dropping objects she handed me for a few days. I clammed up, kept it to myself and hoped to get better. I did. Mostly. Eventually. Apparently central cord syndrome can be a temporary injury. Who knew?

Since that time, I’ve had some neck and back problems. In all honesty, I had back and neck problems before that, because EMSing is hard on spines. Achy and spastic low backs are everyday complaints for many medics and EMTs. Sitting for long stretches, followed by heavy lifts with cold muscles and poor body positioning does not make for happy lumbar paraspinal tissue. Standing like some kind of asshole with your head pressed into the ceiling isn’t good for necks. Carrying combative fat ladies down steep-ass circular staircases while they holler and grab walls, bannisters, and door jambs is uncomfortable, and will be for several days afterwards, no matter how you do it and no matter how healthy your back is.

So imagine having intermittent back spasms on a cold, dark night. Imagine, further, that you can’t take “good medications” because you are at work. So, hypothetically, you are taking enough ibuprofen to make your ears ring so you can finish your shift. Visualize the fact that you still gasp and whimper every time you move your lower body. Imagine at that point you run a full-grown man complaining of intermittent low back pain for a year. Tonight is the night he wants to get it taken care of. He doesn’t think he can comfortably walk himself downstairs and sit in a car to the ED.  He wants to be carried on the bed. He won’t listen when the medics tell him that the ED will merely refer him to his PCP after wasting a few hours of his life.

What do you get on that call? That’s right. Unsympathetic medics.

Here’s another example. December 31, 2010, saw a high temperature of 9°F during the middle of the day. After the sun went down and things cooled off, me and seven other medics got on bicycles to ride around downtown for ten or twelve hours and cover EMS calls. At the time, I was a Captain and partnered up with another Captain. Between us, we had thirty or forty years of EMS experience in the system.

Let me pause a minute and explain how cold it was that night. The weather service reports a low of 0°F with 22mph winds and 40mph gusts. That works out to wind chills of -23°F to -29°F. Below. Zero.

We were on bicycles, running the downtown revelers when they fell down or passed out. Twenty-three to twenty-nine below wind chills. On bicycles.

I'm second from the left, with my head down, adjusting the ice climbing gloves I was wearing.
Ice climbing gloves. The ninja to the viewer's right from me is froze solid.
(Author's collection)

At about 3am, as things were winding down, we were parked in front of a decent hotel clearing up a call. A lady walked up to me and the other Captain. She was cold and wanted our help. See, what had happened was that she got mad at her boyfriend and he went home without her. She was wearing a cocktail dress with toeless high heels. She was cold and uncomfortable.

What do you get in that situation? That’s right. Unsympathetic medics.

I could go on and on. What calls do you find yourself to be most unsympathetic? Let us know in the comments.