My Ears

I had a weird thought this week: My stethoscope has been on every call that I have.

My stethoscope is apparently a badass salty street-dog. It has worked up trauma patients and medical patients, peds and geriatrics, helped to ascertain endotracheal tube placement, and auscultated thousands of blood pressures and breath sounds. My ears have worked up the patient in every one of my stories (including the stories I refuse to share in public). It has auscultated the sickest patients in the city and it has listened to the least sick patients ever needlessly transported to an emergency department. It has seen the calls that made me laugh, the ones that made cry, and the calls that made me want to scream. It has been in the bus during every crash I've been in. It watched me get stuck with needles, kicked, spit upon, and threatened. It also watched me be thanked, be hugged, be respected, and be laughed at. My stethoscope has listened to my chest and the chests of my family members. The only call my stethoscope hasn't seen is a lightning strike.

I roll with a Littmann Master Classic II that started out with grey tubing. It has the old-style head design - the newer models look a little different. Two years ago, I found out that Littmann will refurbish everything on a stethoscope that isn’t metal for about $50. My old friend needed it – the tubes had a big bite mark from a human molar (I’m still mad at that asshole), the diaphragm had been giving me problems, and the earpieces were held on with medical tape that I had colored black with a sharpie. But the grey tubing was no longer offered. So now I have a blue stethoscope. Still works awesome, the head kept all the dents and dings that decades of lifesaving gave it, and the right earpiece still isn't straight. It is still my 'scope.  

It has been in service on EMS calls since the mid-1990s. I’ve had my stethoscope for almost 20 years. Is that unusual? One video on YouTube suggests just using a filthy disposable set of ears because you are going to lose so many. At least, the guy in the video does. I think it may be like pens – I lose the ten-for-a-buck disposable pens constantly, but I have a few pens that cost a bit of money and kept track of them. Sunglasses work that way for me, as well. I don’t know; I’ve not lost my stethoscope. Do you lose stethoscopes often?

I know people think their coworkers steal them. That never made sense to me - people mark their 'scopes in secret but identifiable ways. If someone saw you using their stethoscope... Well, that would be ugly. There isn't a thriving black market for used stethoscopes. Speaking of seeing someone else use my stethoscope, it makes my skin crawl when someone asks to use my ears. Uh, no. Put someone else's earbuds into your grungy ears, not mine. It just happened last week, as a matter of fact, with a physician on scene of a public fainting call. She asked for my stethoscope and I laughed at her. 

Anything that has been with me that long deserves a name. Hell, I think I have known my stethoscope longer than I have known my wife. Longer than any partner. Longer than any job, or pair of boots, or flashlight, or pair of trauma shears.

If you don’t have your "career stethoscope" yet, there are a few websites to help you through the choice. This one is an extensive review of stethoscopes – it’s good, but overwhelming. I didn’t do that much research when I bought my car. This review actually likes the Sprague. (The only problems I have with the Sprague is that it is dual tube, which causes tube noise artifact, and the diaphragm doesn’t seal as well as I like, so funk can get behind it.) Here is another review and buying guide. I assume most readers have a pair of ears, so I’m not going to go through a how-to-buy guide. But you should definitely clean the crap out of your stethoscope on a regular basis.

Take care of your stethoscope. It is like investing in a career-long friend.